My Devina

Ugh – Loneliness

You know that bone crushing, overwhelming at times, lonely feeling you get when you live alone, it’s the holidays, your family isn’t nearby and you don’t have a significant other?  Well, here’s hoping you don’t.  But if you do, you aren’t alone.

I do realize it is possible to feel utterly alone even when in a relationship.  So I don’t wish to exclude anyone just because maybe they don’t have all of the above.  But for whatever reason birthdays and holidays seem to be the least easy time for me.

I have realized lately that if I stay in the present time, it is impossible to feel this way.  But then I’ll be less than totally present and all of a sudden – boom – there it is.  That feeling, that sadness about being alone. And if I let it go on, that sadness about not being exactly where I would like to be.  Which I know is totally not helpful, because it makes Now wrong, but I’m human and it happens.

I’m sure it will pass – it always does.  I have a couple ways of dealing with it.  Sometimes I just start to list everything I’m grateful for.  Sometimes I call or text a friend (although if they don’t text right back that can suck worse). Sometimes I just give myself permission to be moody and go up to my room to take a nap, with the promise to myself that after I wake up I will feel better (and I do).

So for everyone out there, who maybe didn’t have the holidays go exactly as they would have liked – focus on what is good and awesome in your life, go do something nice for yourself or if all else fails throw a tiny tantrum and then move on with your day.  As the guy said to Julia Roberts’ character in My Best Friend’s Wedding as she was smoking outside her hotel room door, “This too shall pass.”

Do any of you have things you do to make yourself feel better when you are down? If so, what are they?

For the flip side of being single, here’s a post the shows why we wait for the right guy: An Awesome Date

My Devina

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