My Devina

My Devina

Learning to Love The Penis

Learning to Love The Penis

I was having a conversation with a girlfriend in which she referred to the male sex organ as “that dangly thing.”  I actually understood where she was coming from, having had similar thoughts in my 20’s.  Because of sexual trauma in my past, I not surprisingly had some issues with men, and sex. Luckily for me, I found the right people to help me work through that – all of that – all the way.  But until then, I definitely felt like the male member was some sort of weapon.  Which made it hard to really be comfortable with my partner.  Try as hard as I could.

Besides counseling, and eventually clearing, a couple other things helped.  The first was reading an account of someone who had been sexually assaulted, and having her put that into words – her feeling that the male sex organ was a weapon. Until then I had felt that, but not articulated it.  And at least for me – if I haven’t articulated a problem it is harder to pull apart and resolve.

Second, I read a book – really one of my favorite books on sex and fun – The Good Girl’s Guide To Bad Girl Sex by Barbara Keesling.  In it she suggested spending time getting to know the male member.  OK this is somewhat harder/somewhat easier than it sounds.  If you don’t tell your partner – I think it’s easier.  If you do tell him – it gets kind of awkward. So one night I just decided to take her advice and pay attention to my partner’s male parts as if I were going to draw them later on. I think what this does is make a girl present, really present and In The Now – not in the past dragging up all the garbage of before.  Her other advice was to treat it (his penis) in a way that makes you, the woman, feel good.  Not worrying so much about the guy.  Which is kind of counter intuitive, but works surprisingly well.  (Obviously using intuition and paying attention to his signs of pleasure helps a lot too.)

Anyway – once I spent time just really marveling at the beauty of this particular manhood, my fear of the penis dissolved. It was really quite magical.

If this blog resonated with you, you might also like: The Lurking Shadows







My Devina

My Devina

My Devina is a site for women. Someone once described our site as being about "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Orgasm." And we would agree. Our goal is to provide a site of of flirty, sometimes controversial, mostly humorous and informative posts written for everyone to enjoy. So regardless if your relationship status is single, divorced, in a relationship, or It's Complicated, www.MyDevina.com has uplifting and fun content for you.

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Comments (3)

  1. DaiseyMarch 1, 2011
    Great article! I didn’t respond on twitter because I wanted to respond more thoroughly. I love this post because it shows that women can enjoy the penis! I think that coming from an abusive past and even in this society women are raised to think of the male member as powerful, more powerful than us. In other words it can destroy us so it must not be enjoyed. What you did in your life is change your perspective and gained control and power out of giving someone pleasure and in the process yourself too! I think your attitude is healthy and wonderful and instead of being a symbol of weakness (a woman getting down on her knees to please a man) it is more of a powerful position and pleasurable. So glad you are at a better place now than you were before.
    • My Devina
      Michelle@MyDevinaMarch 1, 2011
      Thank you again for your wonderful insight. Glad to have met you on Twitter. And so glad this post resonated with you. : )
  2. Pingback: Sociology of Sheena|Sheena Lashay March 7, 2011 […] to Love the Penis here. (I think for anyone planning on or currently having sex with someone who has a penis…they […]

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