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My Devina

Funniest Lines Men Have Used To Get Me To Have Sex (which never work btw)

Funniest Lines Men Have Used To Get Me To Have Sex (which never work btw)

OK, we’ve all been there. We are making out with a guy, and things are heating up (or maybe not on our end) and the guy wants more. Since men, in my opinion, are eternal optimists, and because most of their mental capacity is focused elsewhere, some of the reasons given for why we should have sex with them can be entertaining.

There’s the attempt at negotiation:

  • The ever popular: “Just the Tip!”
  • Or almost as popular: “Just let me put it in once.”

Or the funniest I think I’ve ever heard: 

  • “Let me put a rubber on it, then it will be just like a dildo.”

The there’s the attempt at plausible reasons:

  • “I’m famous.”
  • “I’m younger/ have more stamina than the last guy.”
  • “I have a large cock.”
  • “Don’t you know it feels like I’m going to explode inside if you don’t?”

Or the ever puzzling:

  • “Since you won’t let me have sex, can I stick it in your ass.???”

What have I missed? Would love to hear what other amazingly creative ways some men try to have sex with us, sexy, way-to-smart-for-them-women.

And for those who would love to read the flip side of this from the male perspective, check out Chad’s DatingInThe blog post called Stop!Do Not Enter.

For another funny look at sex, see Too Much of A Good Thing?


My Devina

My Devina is a site for women. Someone once described our site as being about "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Orgasm." And we would agree. Our goal is to provide a site of of flirty, sometimes controversial, mostly humorous and informative posts written for everyone to enjoy. So regardless if your relationship status is single, divorced, in a relationship, or It's Complicated, has uplifting and fun content for you.

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Comments (11)

  1. DApril 2, 2011
    As a man, I’ve found the most foolproof way is to say “I never have sex this soon in a relationship, so don’t get any ideas.”
  2. SteveApril 2, 2011
  3. ChadApril 5, 2011
    I would say I am shocked by some of the things my male counterparts say in order to have sex; however, none of these surprise me. Although, the “let me put a rubber on it….” one is hilarious. Not to be out done of course by the fellow that said “I have a large cock.”
    First off buddy, if you have to tell the girl that you have a large one then you probably don’t. Secondly, most women (and Michelle correct me if I am wrong) are not all that impressed with the size of a mans package. (Unless you have a very very very tiny one….LOL)
    • Michelle@MyDevinaApril 5, 2011
      I’d like to think the really bad lines are mostly said in jest, but sadly, not so much! ; ) Haha – Very True about size -I keep trying to tell guys this, but they never believe me!
      • ChadApril 6, 2011
        I would like to think that many of those “lines” were said in jest; however, I think that those that said them honestly thought that it would work. I’ve tried to tell many of my guy friends that as much as you like a girl and want to sleep with her….she calls the shots!
        She has decided after the first date if she is ever going to sleep with you. There is really nothing a guy can do (for most women) that will persuade them to sleep with them. As I head into my middle 30’s I don’t use lines anymore. I let things happen as they will. If there is chemistry between the two of us then I won’t have to convince her to sleep with me it will just happen naturally
        • Michelle@MyDevinaApril 6, 2011
          I would agree- lines are really worthless where we are concerned. We really have decided, probably even before the date began, what we were and were not willing to do that night. Cognitively, I realize this gives us as women a lot of power. But for some reason a lot of women, myself included, still for some reason don’t feel this way. Not really sure why that is. Maybe because while we have the power/ability to call the shots in terms of the sexual progression of our relationship, in a lot of cases (not all) the man is the one calling the shots in terms of entering into a committed relationship.
  4. jphil2020April 12, 2011
    most of those lines i saw are shocking, as a man i would’nt have the front to come out with that type of shit, i do’nt use lines, i just wait and whenever the person i’m with is ready then i’m good with it, anyway waiting builds up more excitement so thet when you do get in bed the sex is usually so good. Then again not every exerience has been good but anybody who tried to say that every sexual encounter they had was good they’d be a lying son of a bitch
  5. Adversity makes strange bedfellows.
  6. yeah I coulda wrote that better.. lol jk! I was really impressed with your blog and I must say, you are a pretty good writer my friend.

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