My Devina

My Devina

Being Single – Maybe You Are Right Where You Belong!

Being Single – Maybe You Are Right Where You Belong!

I spent over 3 1/2 years being single. And more than once someone would say to me “What’s wrong with you?  There must be something wrong with you because you have been single for so long.”  Sound familiar? In that time I had 4 marriage proposals, plus 3 other guys wanting to have children with me, and 1 “live with me long term, because I no longer believe in marriage” offer.  And many others wanting to be my boyfriend. In other words, I was single because I chose to be single.  Not because I couldn’t find a man.

I chose to be single, because I was waiting for the right match, my fit to come along.  And I hadn’t met him yet. (Well, I had actually, but we will get to that part in a minute.)

And in that same timeframe I watched other girlfriend’s take a different route.  They had 2 or 3 boyfriends in that time frame.  And each one of them, we knew, even they knew, wasn’t “it.” Wasn’t the one.  Wasn’t a fit.  But they were afraid to be alone, so they chose something over nothing.  And yet no one asked them “What’s wrong with you?”

Which frustrated me to no end.  Because I have always felt is better to be happy alone then unhappy with someone else.  But, each has their own path, their own choices, and that’s OK.

So now, now I have a boyfriend.  And the funny thing is – I have known him for 4 years. When I first met him, he was married.  I was a client of his and he became a client of mine.  Then time past, I heard about him time and again, and finally he appear back in my life, as I was in need of his services professionally once more. And this time, he was single, as was I.  We were both dating people, but neither was in an exclusive relationship and neither relationship was going anywhere.  We spent some time as friends, and eventually that friendship changed to love.

But the thing is – if we had entered back into each other’s life at any earlier point, including a few short weeks prior, it would never have happened.  We met when we were BOTH ready and open (on some level at least) to be in a deep and meaningful relationship.

So why was I single for 3 1/2 years?  Because I was waiting for my match, and he was waiting for me.  And until we were both ready, the timing wasn’t right. And the match either wouldn’t have worked, or wouldn’t have been as good as it is, because we both had some growing to do before finding each other.

So next time you hear someone tell you or insinuate that there is something “wrong” with being single. Just smile and know that they have it all wrong. You are exactly where you are intended to be at this moment, and who knows what the next moment will bring?  That is the beauty of being single, you never know what is right around the corner, waiting patiently to bloom into something amazing.

For another blog on enjoying the Now of being single see: Why Do People Assume Being Single is Wrong







My Devina

My Devina

My Devina is a site for women. Someone once described our site as being about "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Orgasm." And we would agree. Our goal is to provide a site of of flirty, sometimes controversial, mostly humorous and informative posts written for everyone to enjoy. So regardless if your relationship status is single, divorced, in a relationship, or It's Complicated, www.MyDevina.com has uplifting and fun content for you.

Add a comment

Comments (5)

  1. TracieSeptember 25, 2011
    I enjoyed reading this and I too think every thing happens when it’s suppose to.
  2. ChadOctober 11, 2011
    It’s funny because being a 35 year old single male I get this all the time. I get it from my family and I get it from friends. I haven’t had a long term relationship in roughly five years. Why? Because I’ve chosen such. I’ve gone through being laid off from a career that I thought was my life path….to moving across the country to the east coast and starting from scratch.
    People always ask me why I am single at 35. And then the next question is “How many times have you been married? Do you have any kids?” The answer to those questions is, “No I have never been married and no I do not have any kids!” And then they follow with, “How is that possible?” And my response is “Well because I’m not going to settle for something that doesn’t make me happy. And as for the kids well because I’ve always made it a point to practice safe sex! LOL”
    Is there anything wrong with me being single at 35? In my eyes no there is not. I am not going to settle and try to be happy with someone that I know isn’t going to do it for me just to make family and friends happy. I’d much rather live a life of being happy alone than being unhappy with a girlfriend/spouse.
    I see friends that married for the wrong reasons going through divorce five years after their marriage. (Two of them to be exact. And I was in both of those weddings.) So I ask myself, Why would I subject myself to that kind of torment? Why not just be happy with myself and be alone instead?
    Now granted the dating life sucks at times. And I have gone through my fair share of crazy ones; however, I would take the crazy ones that only last a few weeks or months then having to deal with a lifetime of being unhappy with someone that I should of never gotten married to in the first place.
    @Michelle….I absolutely love this latest post. I’ve often thought about writing about this subject, but could never put into words what I was thinking. You hit the nail on the head in everything you said and I thank you for that. Best of luck to you and your new relationship! 😛
  3. daiseyOctober 20, 2011
    I couldnt have said everything I thought and feel about being single better myself! Im 20 and Im not actively dating and to be honest not too interested and Im happy with that. I remember just a few months to a year ago I began listening and caring about what people thought of my being single so I started dating. It didnt go well because it came out of insecurity of being alone, outcast, different so after that again remembered why I should always listen to my heart! Im super happy for you and your wonderful relationship you deserve all the love you are receiving!
    • My Devina
      Michelle@MyDevinaOctober 20, 2011
      Thank you Daisey. I think it says a lot about you that you realized why you were dating, and decided for this moment in time it doesn’t serve you. That is so self-aware and so intuitive. A lot of women don’t have that strength. I honor you for those things! There have been a few times in my life that I stopped dating and just focused on me. At one point my family thought I was gay – simply because they stopped hearing about my dating life. But it was necessary for me to spend time on me – and just not worry about adding another person into the mix. Yes – always listen to your heart. It knows best! And thank you. : )

Add a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Note: You should assume that the owner of this website is an affiliate for providers of goods and services mentioned on this website. The owner may be compensated when you purchase after clicking on a link. The owner may also have received the product for free. Perform due diligence before purchasing from this or any other website.