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My Devina

Two Types of Men (Part 2)

Two Types of Men (Part 2)

As promised, here’s my second post on how I felt when I first began dating in my 30’s and it appeared to me that there were only

Two Types of Men…  See Two Types of Men (Part 1)

At times it seems like there are really only two types of guys – Commitment Phobic and Severely Commitment Phobic. The Commitment Phobic seem to sense the second you begin to show any real interest and turn tail and run the other way. The Severely Commitment Phobic don’t even get you all that interested because they are never close enough to touch.

Type#2: The Severely Commitment Phobic: (SCP)

The Severely Commitment Phobic (SCP) guy is normally a “friend” who lives too far away to have a real relationship with. They either live over an hour away by car, or better yet, the other side of the continent. At first glance, distance does not seem to be an issue for them. They will call and write with incredible frequency. Just don’t try to pin them down to anything, not even coffee, because they will blow you off.

None the less. SCPs initially appear to be genuine guy friends. And they all start off so innocently. For example:

**************

Subject: Just Saying HI..

Hey Girlfriend,

How ya been? just wondering.

-SCP#1

Telephone and email are these men’s favorite tools. They will profess their undying love, that their mission in life is to see you smile, make you happy blah, blah, blah. And of course, they are totally, fully, only interested in a platonic relationship.

**********

Subject: I searched and searched but to no avail…..

Oh beautiful, charming but enigmatic Michelle.

Etc.

~SCP#2

*************

M,

You are indeed a smart beautiful women who can have the whole world at your beckon call. Trust yourself. You will not fail. And I STILL miss your smile.. Call me sometime..

-SCP#1

The advantages of having a few SCP’s is that they always call on your worst days and brighten your life. And for some unknown, cosmic reason they tend to all call or email at the same time.

For example, I was having a particularly bad day at work when I received a call from a friend on my cell. He called to say that if only I was out east at the game, he would be proposing to me so that we could see our names up in the lights. And then asked me when was I coming toward his town, because his mission in life was to make me laugh and smile. And of course this was best done over dinner. (Definitely made my day.)

That same afternoon I also received the following set of emails from the initial SCP.

M,

Where would you go if you could go anywhere in the world right now?

Just a little something to take your mind off work.. Ponder that and

get back to me.

Your Buddy (SCP#1)

My response:

Hawaii or Telum in MX

Thanks for the visual break – I was just contemplating running naked

through the halls screaming. Which I don’t think would go over to

well. 🙂

-M

His response:

Subject: Oh please do and send pictures.

M,

OK lets go.. Pick a date and I will take you as a completely plutonic traveling partner. I’m serious..Pick the place.

-SCP#1

Of course, eventually, even the Severely Commitment Phobic will decide to try his move at being only Commitment Phobic.

From: SCP #1

Subject: Practice Makes Perfect.

I practice safe sex.

–SCP#1

Classic.

What can I say? When a SCP decides to break rank, they do it big. And in case you are wondering, that was the last I heard from my friend for quite a while. I think he really did run off to India or some exotic location for a while after that, all on his own.

For more story, see Two Types of Men (Part 1)







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Comments (2)

  1. Greg DragonJune 28, 2012
    This 2-part series of yours inspired me to pull some opinions together from friends and acquaintances of mine who are men that date frequently. I had to ask them “why would you not call a woman back after a perfect date” to see if their reasons echoed mine and I got a lot of good insight which led to a unanimous answer: It is YOU – as in it is normally the woman who we have written off during the date but we simply don’t tell her or show her that we are done. Commitment is one thing but many times you either say or do something to turn a guy off to the point where he doesn’t even want to explain… but he is there with you so he makes the best of that date before dumping your number as he gets back into his car. Many women don’t want to hear this because it’s a blow to the ego but it is true; if a man doesn’t call you back, consider what you were talking about during the date and the thing you may have said which made him cringe, brush it off and then change the subject. Sex and commitment are rarely the cause of a man not calling back; no it’s much simpler than that. Here’s my article:
    http://halloftheblackdragon.com/reel/9520/the-real-reasons-why-men-stop-calling-after-the-perfect-date.html
    • My Devina
      My DevinaJune 28, 2012
      Hi Greg, I honor or opinion. But I would have to disagree in this scenario. As I have spoken to men as well. The dates I was talking about actually did go incredibly well. I’m a highly intuitive person and I know the difference between when a date is going well and when it is not. I agree that there are times when you have only dated someone once or twice that it is easier to not call and explain then call and explain. We’ve all been there. But the instances I was talking about this was not the case. The dates were going really well, and we had what both of us felt was a “perfect” date. You can tell, based on how a guy responds to you as you are leaving, and the fact that he finds reasons to extend the date. And in these instances, when the date went well, we didn’t talk about ex’s, marriage, babies etc. and the guy found ways to extend the date – for guys who had commitment issues – this was the breaking point for him after the fact. There are people – both men and women – who are commitment phobic. Many get this way after a heartbreak. And so when someone is coming from this state of being, they are scared and they will shy away from anything that would lead them to be back in that potential heartbreak again. Do I really think there are only 2 types of men? No – of course not! I just said that at times when first dating this is how it felt. Especially when I myself was also being commitment phobic. i.e. I had not gotten over my own heartbreak. So the Universe was simply mirroring back to me, what was going on with me – (I was not ready for a commitment, so I kept running into other people who were in the same place.)

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