My Devina

My Devina

The Mirror – Dating & Self Reflection

The Mirror – Dating & Self Reflection

From The Dating Archives…

Whenever I start a new relationship – I see at times how that person sees me. Or picks up on little things about me. I don’t think this is something I would have noticed in my 20′s. It’s definitely an interesting byproduct of dating in my 30′s. Sometimes this mirror is awesome – because they see me in positive ways, I have trouble seeing myself as. Sometimes – it’s just an interesting study in what I am unconsciously giving off. Or how maybe I still have a little bit more to go to fully heal from a bad, abusive relationship in my past.

Case in point – today I was at lunch with my guy. I mentioned that I had trouble getting to sleep the night before because I heard a noise in my room. So I got up to check everything out. Even though my home is completely locked and double locked up at night. There’s this tiny part of my brain that just wants to make sure.

I realized as he looked at me with a look that was not judging at all, but definitely processing what I said – that this was not the first time that I had mentioned something about not be completely 100% at ease/ feeling safe in my home environment.

Tonight – I’m frustrated with myself. It’s been 8 years since I kicked Mr. Sleeping With the Enemy out of my life – but those scars are still there. Granted, it’s a pretty crazy story – which included the bugging of my house and gps’ing of my car. But still – 8 years. And yet if something goes bump in the night – I just never know. And I realized that I still am not 100% sure my house isn’t bugged.

So tonight I got online and ordered a bug sensor. Not sure if I will find anything. But maybe, once I scan the areas I think there might still be something, I will stop worrying if the bump in the night is more than just a cat creeping around outside.

What about you? Have you had any self-realizations after watching the reaction of someone you were dating?







My Devina

My Devina

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