My Devina

My Devina

Height of Male Arrogance, Telling Women They Can Only Have Clitoral Orgasms

Height of Male Arrogance, Telling Women They Can Only Have Clitoral Orgasms

Recently a “study” in the Journal of Sexual Medicine came out saying that women only experience one kind of orgasm – a clitoral orgasms.  It received international attention when it hit the Daily Mail and Drudge with the headline “Vaginal Orgasm Doesn’t Exist. “At first I thought, maybe the study’s author, was including vaginal orgasm as clitoral orgasm, since we now know that the clitoris actually wraps around the vaginal walls, but he was not. He really thinks women can’t have vaginal orgasms, g-sport orgasms, a-spot orgasms (a spot prior to the g-spot inside the vaginal canal) – I could keep going on. I’m sure his head would explode if I explained that women can have orgasms from nipple or neck caresses. 

A man, who does not have a vagina, decided to tell women, that we can only have clitoral orgasms.  That’s funny.

What’s not funny is that this “study” has now been spread all over the world. In an attempt to tell women it’s OK if you don’t have vaginal orgasms, because you “can’t.” And that – to me- is a dangerous thing. To place inside a woman’s head that the ONLY way to orgasm is through clitoral stimulation. Because if she hasn’t had the opportunity yet, she might give up on the many other ways to stimulate. And for women who have yet to experience orgasms, this could be life impacting. Especially for a woman who has undergone Female Genital Mutilation or a sexual trauma that makes orgasm from that area impossible or highly unlikely. 

Through my interactions with many, many women around this wonderful planet – I can say with 100% certainty – that women experience orgasm MANY ways – clitoral stimulation being the most popular, but not always the only way to orgasm. I know some women who ONLY orgasm though vaginal sex or stimulation. I know some women who ONLY orgasm through g-spot orgasms that result in a gushing O orgasm. I know women who also orgasm through what they consider a gate-orgasm, which is an orgasm that occurs higher up, near to the opening of our womb (normally after one or more other types of orgasms). I know women who can have orgasms through anal stimulation as well. And any good scientist who has worked with paraplegics, will tell you that women can orgasms through spinal stimulation, normally at the base of the spine, but sometimes at the top.  

Of course, if you asked me I would tell you that I use to only be able to orgasm though clitoral stimulation, but now I can experience orgasm, pretty much everywhere, including the inside of my elbow, or the nape of my neck. But for the purposes of specificity – I can definitely orgasm through vaginal stimulation, g-spot stimulation, a-spot stimulation and yes – spinal stimulation. So DON’T allow what’s possible for YOU to be limited by the misunderstandings of a study created by a man who does not have a vagina I’m not trying to be feminist, I’m simply stating facts – this guy has NO idea what he’s talking about. And don’t let someone else define reality for you and millions of women around the world. Especially not one who was writing a study in order to get funding to create drugs to supposedly help women who can’t orgasm. What better way to ensure a constant influx of new women needing a drug, than telling them they can’t find orgasm anyway but one way?

We women are so LUCKY. We can orgasm – so MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. If one way doesn’t work, that’s OK. We can trying many different other ways to stimulate our bodies with or without a partner until we do find the way to orgasm.  And then the beauty of our bodies, being what they are, often once we find one path, other paths open up. Anyone who tells you differently has an agenda, and it doesn’t have your best and highest interest at heart. 

Yes, many women, myself include, have not come to orgasm naturally or always easily. There are many reason for that, for me it was sexual trauma. But the good news is, there isn’t just one path, there are many many paths we can take to become orgasmic.  I’ve written more about that here in The Elusive Orgasm and here in  My Quest for the Multiple Orgasm .

What do you think? As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. And it would be great (if you feel comfortable)  for other women, who have experienced orgasms is ways other than clitoral to share their experiences, so that women all over the world can see that there is no “one” path to orgasm.

My Devina

My Devina is a site for women. Someone once described our site as being about "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Orgasm." And we would agree. Our goal is to provide a site of of flirty, sometimes controversial, mostly humorous and informative posts written for everyone to enjoy. So regardless if your relationship status is single, divorced, in a relationship, or It's Complicated, has uplifting and fun content for you.

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