My Devina

My Devina

Sexuality

Proof Life Can Get Worse

Proof Life Can Get Worse

So I’m newly single, big heart crushing breakup.  And 24  hours into it, people are already trying to set me up with people.  Hello – could I have a little breathing room to healthily morn the loss?  But it gets better – the title of an email from a loving, caring, concerns girlfriend:  Subject: Jackrabbit […]

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Who Ever Came Up With “Going Slow” Should Be Shot

Who Ever Came Up With “Going Slow” Should Be Shot

Ok maybe not “shot” but who came up with this crazy dating advice? Of course I say this one month into “going slow.” And I am going a bit insane. I admit this problem is compounded by the fact that my normal fall-back release mechanisms are not currently being activated. My boy toy is on tour and I’ve been mentally distancing myself from my ex, so that makes that route not as satisfying or available as it once was…

I know that I could take control of the situation and just take the lead here. But I have decided that maybe doing what I have always done, didn’t get me the exact results I want – so I’m trying something new – and waiting. But it’s killing me!

And it’s kind of odd. Normally anyone I’m dating I’ve seen naked by at least date 3. But have had 5 dates and a sleep over, and still no nakedness. Crazy.

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Being Sexy AND an Athlete – Is That A Bad Thing?

Being Sexy AND an Athlete – Is That A Bad Thing?

There is something interesting about American culture (I can’t really speak for other cultures, maybe it’s in other places too). Women have such a strong pressure in society to be a woman, to be appealing to men, but not tooooo much! To be sexy, but not toooo sexy. Slightly neurotic – yes?

The pole fitness community is a great example of this. The women wear 6 inch stiletto heels. Wear almost no clothes while performing (because to do so makes tricks on the pole much easier/ less slippery and it’s a lot of work – so you get kind of hot), hair done, makeup full out. Eyelashes often stripper length and style. Posing quite suggestively in print, in e-zines and in Facebook photos. And yet, a good number of people in this community complain that people think they are sexy. That pole dancing isn’t sexual, it’s sensual.

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Off & Over There

Off & Over There

Swim: MichelleGArt.com What is the point of taking 10 minutes to pick out the cutest underwear and panties – making sure they match appropriately, even if they weren’t officially a set. If the guy isn’t even going to look at them as he pulls them off of you? On a side note, I once made […]

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The Multiple Orgasm – Isn’t Up There With Santa, It Really Does Exist

The Multiple Orgasm – Isn’t Up There With Santa, It Really Does Exist

I remember being in my room in college and reading in Cosmo about the multiple orgasm and thinking – wow this really exists! Not only an orgasm – but multiple! Before then I thought multiple orgasm was just a myth. But for some reason, reading it in black and white, made it more real. And so my quest to not just be orgasmic, but multiple orgasmic began.

The irony being at the time I had never even had a single orgasm. I enjoyed being close with my boyfriend. I loved being naked and I loved that connection. But I never came – and often times sex was actually painful for me. And would get more painful, the more I tried to “make” things happen.

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My Quest For The Multiple Orgasm

My Quest For The Multiple Orgasm

I was not one of those lucky women who always knew what an orgasm was. In my twenties orgasms were RARE and were WORK. In my late teens/ early twenties orgasms were actually non-existent. I LOVED sex, except when it would feel like work, like something was wrong with me, because I couldn’t reach that point everyone else seemed to be talking about. And sometimes, that felt like all the time!

Flash forward to my mid thirties – totally different. I still LOVE sex, but now I have orgasms so many times that some people don’t believe me about how many. I have had to make a partner stop at times so I can catch my breath. And when I first started having multiple multiple orgasms, I didn’t know how to prepare my body and I literally ended up with physical exhaustion from such an amazing experience. Orgasms, for the most part, are no longer work – quite the opposite they are fun and effortless.

How did I get here? It didn’t happen overnight – but I think I figured out the path because I don’t think I should be the only one to have these amazing experiences.

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The Give and Take of Sex

The Give and Take of Sex

Getting naked with someone new, is always an interesting thing.  Not just because it’s new, but because different people have different dynamics.  For example, some guys like to participate jointly and some like to trade off.  And I’m not talking 69 – I just mean, some guys want to make it all about me, and […]

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Learning to Love The Penis

Learning to Love The Penis

I was having a conversation with a girlfriend in which she referred to the male sex organ as “that dangly thing.” I actually understood where she was coming from, having had similar thoughts in my 20’s. Because of sexual trauma in my past, I not surprisingly had some issues with men, and sex.

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A New Toy

A New Toy

So I bought a new toy. A completely new type of toy – which meant I had nothing to compare it to when shopping for it (like bigger or smaller than my last toy). The challenge when buying a new toy is that it is an unknown. You can’t test drive a toy. The best […]

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Funniest Lines Men Have Used To Get Me To Have Sex (which never work btw)

Funniest Lines Men Have Used To Get Me To Have Sex (which never work btw)

OK, we’ve all been there. We are making out with a guy, and things are heating up (or maybe not on our end) and the guy wants more. Since men, in my opinion, are eternal optimists, and because most of their mental capacity is focused elsewhere, some of the reasons given for why we should […]

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