Always Have An Exit Strategy
Single Life
From the dating archives…
A girlfriend and I decided to actively pursue spots where the type of eligible men we want to meet were likely to be. This required us hanging out in lounge type atmospheres where you could actually carry out a conversation with someone. It also requires a total meat market mentality to a degree. The first and second times we tried this we didn’t do very well, the spots we chose were completely dead – and we ended up running into 2 people I had previously dated – one being someone I had been to dinner with the night before. Never a good thing when picking up new blood!
The third time we went out, we actually were successful. My girlfriend ended up with two numbers, I ended up with one. But we had discovered we had no code to signal “How are you doing? Do you want to leave?” Or “We Need to leave”. So we decided code for “How are you doing, do you want to leave?” was Do I need a manicure? – What do you think? Or if you kind of wanted to leave – I need a manicure. But if you wanted the get the hell out it was – I need a smoke. The only issue with this one is – we don’t smoke.
Sooooo. We are at our first hot spot for the night. It’s busier than it has been, we flirted with both guys guarding the entry and the door, got in without waiting in line, and we are feeling good. Then we make the error of picking a seat next to two older gentlemen who have a business manufacturing sexual enhancing things – like lubricant and stimulants. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but not the type of guys we were looking to date. So first I check, my nails. My girlfriend agrees I need a manicure, but we can’t seem to break loose. So finally I say to one of the guys, “I’m sorry guys but I really need a smoke.” And because I suck at lying I added “Don’t even start with me, I know it’s a bad habit!”
Well the guys start following us out! Not good at all. Then they try to tell us where we should go to smoke – we are aiming for the door, they want us to go to a patio. The the guy who my girlfriend had been talking to says, “You two don’t really smoke.” And she says “We only do it when we are out drinking. She started me on it and now I need a bit of a taste whenever we go out.” To which the guy says: “But you aren’t drinking, you just ordered water.” Ooooooooops.
And then we kind of forgot that once you shake guys they normally come back and then we wouldn’t actually smell like smoke. Hmmmm. Must work on new exit strategy.
How about you? What’s your exit strategy?
For some other bad date stories see I’m Missing NCIS for This?? and The Coffee Date w/out the Coffee
Comments (6)
Unfortunately you’ll have to go to another location after this exit strategy, but it could work. 😛