
Hanging Onto The Idea Of A Man
From the Dating Archives…
I was recently talking to a girlfriend about a guy I had been dating off and on for the past year. I told her that recently I had begun to feel like he was just too wrapped up in himself to really see or care what was going on with me. She said something interesting – she said “I think you were more into the Idea of Him anyway.” In some ways, maybe she was right.
Here I’d found a guy who interviewed well. With whom I had phenomenal chemistry. Who was successful and had a fun sense of humor. But he was hot and cold in his affection and time with me. And as time went on I just got the feeling like he was intentionally holding back and there was nothing I could do about. Maybe you can relate?
I kept thinking if I just gave him time, he would open up, stop holding on to himself so tightly and just learn to Be. But really – what I was hoping for was a glimpse of a possible him I saw, not the him who was standing in front of me.
So in the end, we broke up. And while my heart was sad for that. I know it was for the best. Because what I wanted was the idea of what I knew he could be if he so chose, but not really the man he was.
Have you ever found yourself holding onto the idea of a man, instead of the man himself?
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